The Power Of Anchoring Your Life: Developing A Core

Hey Loves,

It’s been a minute since I last posted on my blog site! Thank you to those of you who reminded me, have kept me accountable, and encouraged me to come back to my writing.

I’ve been fairly busy with the demands of clinicals during this semester. I am currently in my maternity rotation at the Grey Nuns Community Hospital dealing with newborn babies, their mothers and their families. Maternity is an absolutely exciting environment of which I see myself working in once I graduate and become a nurse. Now that’s enough about school (by this time in the semester I’ve had too much of it anyways), lets get right into today’s blog topic!

 

A few days ago during the weekend I was looking at my various social media feeds and I started feeling major FOMO having to miss out on all the hangs I wasn’t able to make. At this time I was focusing my attention on the feelings of missing out as opposed to the tasks at home that needed to be completed. I had to let some people down on planned outings so that I wouldn’t fall behind on house, school and writing commitments. Realizing how affected I was with it all, Mom decided to come sit down and talk about my mood and see where she could support me. She spoke of the importance of developing a core and valuing my personal time with myself. It all sounded important but of course in the mood I was in, I didn’t care much for it. What does that even mean “building a core?” Typing the statement into google only produced multiple workout videos of people doing sit ups and extended versions of the plank.

I let my mom continue her explanation where she used herself as an example. She very rarely feels FOMO because she practically never focuses on the feelings of being excluded, rejected or not belonging. She mentioned that from a young age she had developed a strong core, knowing who she was, where she was going and prioritized her life accordingly, with discipline. On the other hand, I was described to resemble a noodle, meaning I was the kind of person that dropped all responsibilities when the opportunity to hang with others came up. Mom called this noodle phase “not having a strong core.” Now she surely wasn’t trying to say that I could never meet up with other people. Mom was just reaching the root of the problem which was to avoid having my happiness controlled by whether or not people are present in my life… Sorry hold on… I just felt something in the spirit. Let me say it this way now, do not feel that your identity and worth has to be formed only by being in the presence of others…I know some of you guys ain’t ready for this one right here. You can go on back to YouTube and finish your funny cat videos. (I know they’re equally as important).

retrieved from: https://blog.mindvalley.com

So how do you build a strong core? A core is first being able to look inside and recognize your worth and abilities. It means loving yourself wherever you are in your life, both the good and the bad, regrets, failures, achievements and successes. Moving forward from past mistakes and holding on to the future with high expectations of yourself.  A core is like being able to stand your ground on your values and beliefs, especially of yourself whilst not being easily moved. Someone with a strong core is able to maturely handle changes because their emotions and behaviors are not determined by outside circumstances. They are able to withstand the grief of a break up and/or loss because they have anchored themselves in something of value. People who anchor themselves on how other people view them, think of them or affirm their actions can never ever be happy. I have learned that happiness comes from someone who feels complete in themselves without regard to circumstances or the influences of others.

The following are 3 tactics which could serve as helpful to you in the development of a strong core.

  1. Writing empowering questions

Empowering questions help to shift your focus from negative thinking to positive thinking. It empowers you to take control of your emotional state and encourage more positive thought processes.

  1. Write down a negative thought/question that you tend to frequently have:

Example: I’m always feeling down in the relationships I try to form. They are always fake. Am I just someone that has a hard time making true friends?

retrieved from: http://sourcesofinsight.com

Empowering question to combat negative one might look like:

How do I make sure that I no longer feel down or fake in my relationships? How do I ensure that I attract real substantial and positive people into my life?

This way of thinking as opposed to the one above helps you to take more control of your situation. It suggests that the problem isn’t on you to be blamed, instead it launches you into looking for solutions to your problem. Some ways to act on this empowering questions depends on what works best for you. For example…

  • Seek the kingdom of God and all else will be added unto you
  • Begin to look for ways to enhance self-love and respect, then equal people will naturally come to you
  • Be focused on a goal and the right people (complimentary) will come to you
  • Stop building your self-worth on how people respond to you
  • Etc…
  1. Social media

Social media can create very negative habits of comparing yourself to another person who is probably in a very different situation than yourself. And who’s to say that they dont have their own struggles to deal with in life too. Regardless, some people try to completely annihilate their social medias. Instead of jumping into a complete elimination social media (which hardly ever lasts long) try to follow pages that are uplifting and encouraging. You can follow some art pages if you like art or technology, medicine, dogs and other animals etc. I’ve noticed that some meme pages are more uplifting than others. Some memes are masked to appear funny but create low self-esteem. Tell me, which type of photo is innocent and which type when consistently seen might create lower self-esteem in you?

  1. Captain and Crew: 5 essential questions to ask yourself

This is the MOST POWERFUL PRACTICE you can do and hold onto in regards to identifying your purpose in life and focus on meaningful things other than multiple other things. My best friend (in my head) and mentor, Myles Munroe, suggested the idea of answering these 5 essential questions of life. They are…

  1. Who Am I? Question of Identity
  2. Why Am I Here? Question of purpose
  3. What Can I do? question of potential
  4. Where Am I Going? Question of destiny
  5. Where Am I From? Question of creation (not heritage)

Because he is the master of this, I will let him explain further. Click the link right here, you won’t regret!

Ultimately you must take control of your negative thoughts and shape them into opportunities to create positive changes in your own life. To build on yourself and make a better you. You may not be able to control your circumstances but you can control how you react to them. You can either be bitter or better from your experiences.

Thanks for reading this week’s blog post! Post a comment and like/follow my blog to stay updated on when new ones appear! Have the most splendid week and stay blessed my people! ❤

Advertisements

3 Reasons why Having a Vision Leads to SUCCESS

http://www.greenbiz.com

Lets step back for a second here. I know I’m talking about vision in this post but I cant help but connect vision to its foundation which has to be faith! The quote that comes to mind when I think this is Hebrews 11:1 which states “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” The examples of people who had faith and ultimately a vision to change their circumstances and improve their surroundings are many! I’m talking about people like Oprah Winfrey, the queen of talk show hosts and daytime TV (I am such a big fan of hers btw). She was told at a younger age to step down from TV because she was considered unfit. Or Michael Jordan who was cut from his high school basketball team and now is recognized as a well renowned basketball mogul. Or even Thomas Edison back in the day who worked countless hours, experienced many failures but never stopped until he had created the light bulb which is now conventionally used in homes around the world. All these people were like you and I but they also had vision. A vision so true to them that very few things could stop them.

 

An example of vision that I have personally witnessed is in my own Mother who was given a hard life raising myself and my 3 brothers, one of which was diagnosed with autism at a young age. She separated from my dad and had to live in a foreign country with no relatives and minimal support. She knew she had to take herself to school in order to get a decent paying job and place food on the table for herself and the family. My Mother saw herself completing the RN (registered nurse) program before she even applied and although it was going to be very, very difficult, she was determined to make it into a reality. She would often tell me, as she reminisced on her life’s journey that “I don’t know what took over me, no one could stop me and neither could I. The only person I think could have stopped me was God. All I know is that I had already seen myself as a nurse, so all I had left to do was draw it into the physical and make it happen.”

 

My mother balanced raising the kids and sending us all to school, braiding hair occasionally for money, cooking, cleaning, studying, going to school, cleaning homes, working as a personal assistant, and growing in her faith in God among many other things. She finished her degree in 22 months (after degree program) and payed off her student loans whilst being an international student within 6 months of completing her degree! Now she is an instructor, motivator and author! This is why I describe my mother as invincible. My mother has shown me and many others the importance of having a vision in your life which led her to success.

 

 “Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~ Carl Jung

 

http://www.dreamstime.com

1) Having a clear vision points you in the direction you want to go and drives you towards that goal. If you have no where you are going, any path will take you there. Vision narrows down your focus to what is most important meaning you must disregard other things which are not as important. This includes failures from time to time and may require getting rid of some people in your life. You ultimately must not lose focus. Focusing on the goal and implementing the right habits to achieve it reaps the results you want and makes you successful.

 

2) Vision helps you to become a leader in your own life and function as an example of discipline and perseverance for other people. Having a vision and a why for that vision is very inspirational to those who are without one. They see the sacrifices you make to achieve your goals and they in turn could end up creating their own visions for themselves. This is a form of legacy on your part. In other people’s lives you have become a leader and this is your success. (My mother was this person for me). Ps. if another person does not share your vision or have a vision of their own do not become frustrated and allow that to derail you from your focus. That is out of your control. Have faith that God will make everything perfect in its own time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

curtissensei.com

3) Vision gives meaning and purpose in your life. I have not checked the statistics on this but I believe that those who have a vision probably deal with depression less because their time is being used in a proactive and directed way. People with a vision do not worry about the future and mellow on the past, instead they ask themselves “what I can do today to continue moving forward and continue to create the results I want to see in myself and my loved ones.” When you have a clear strong vision to become a top fashion designer, you can actually make it happen with continued faith, discipline and making decisions that favor that dream. The same goes to your walk with Christ; if your vision is to grow spiritually and make an impact, you will develop the discipline and practices to achieve that too.

 

Thank you so much for reading this week’s blog. I’ve been wanting to write on this topic for eons it feels (mostly thinking about writing it as I poorly sang to myself in the shower). This blog was probably the easiest for me to get out because of how natural it felt to type it, exactly how I was thinking it in my mind is how you read it. It only took just over an hour to complete and I’m proud of it. This unfortunately will be my last blog in a while because I will be steaming full force back to school for clinicals and I really would love to focus fully on my assignments and learning. Thank you for stopping by here again and I promise I’ll be back to write some more. Leave some suggestions in the comments down below on what my future topics should be on. Also give a like and subscribe to my blog for updates. I love you and stay cool ❤

Check out our website @triwisdomvillage.com

like us on our Facebook page and follow us on all social media @triwisdomvillage 

Ladies: Here Are 5 Things a Man Needs Before a Woman  

All content for this post is taken from Dr. Myles Monroe’s preaching of “the 5 characteristics of an ideal man”

Let’s just jump right into it!

http://strugglincatholic.com

A bible study was done where Adam, the first male human created, was the focus of the study. Why was Adam chosen as the center of this study? Simply because God created him with specific instructions to fulfill before later deciding that it was not good for Adam to be alone, resulting in the creation of Eve. God created Adam to have dominion over the earth, the seas and all walks of life. He wanted Adam to enjoy his time in Eden, the protective environment formed for him. Eden cannot be found on a map today, it was never an actual location, instead it represented an environment. Better yet, Eden was the presence of God. Before sin entered earth, Eden signified the union between God and Man, and it was a beautiful place to be.

  1. Therefore, first thing God gave man was his presence. So the first thing a man needs isn’t a woman, it is Eden, or the presence of God. A woman should meet a man in the presence of God.

TIP: Ladies don’t try and drag a man back to Eden, meet the man there! 🙂

  1. https://brillianceinc.com

    Genesis 2:15 God commanded Adam to work… Yes ladies God’s priorities are VERY CLEAR, he requires the man to work. Not only a job to provide for the family but also being aware of or moving towards a vision. Preferably he should be opting to fulfill his purpose on earth otherwise he can get confused very easily, following any path that leads him to anywhere. The best form of grounding himself would be in Eden and in the word, this way he can receive divine direction.

  1. download (6)
    https://mantis.com

    Genesis 2:16 God said to Adam that he should be the cultivator meaning he should bring out the best in everything around him, maximize its potential and produce fruit. He requires the man to fulfill his purpose in the world. The best example of a real man is Christ. Believe it or not, he has a wife as well. Christ is married to a beautiful diverse woman and her name is The Church. He tells men to do what he has done to his wife which is to Love their wife like he loves his own. Wash her with the word of God, raise her with encouragement, help her to be less insecure and enable her to reach her fullest potential as well. Then he is free to present her back to himself.

4. God commanded Adam to Guard the Garden. The male is designed to be the protector. He has not been given a stronger and larger frame to abuse the woman or family; he has been made that way to protect her and his family.

5. journal writingGenesis 2:17 The last thing God gave Adam was his word. God never spoke directly to the woman to inform her about the tree of good and evil. He never told her not to eat from its fruit but he did tell the man. Since the man received the word of God, his job was to teach it to his wife. It seems often in this day and age that the woman knows more word than the man. A man should know the word before meeting a woman.

Genesis 2:18 Then God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” The man God is referring to is a man who is in Eden, Working, Cultivating, Protecting and has the word, that man can now receive his Eve.

         If the man does not experience the presence of God, isn’t working, does not cultivate, refuses to protect and does not have the word, It is good for that man to be alone.

Thank you for joining me for this weeks blog post! Tell me in the comments down below whether this post resonated with you or was against your own beliefs. Feel free to comment your thoughts, ideas, like the post and subscribe for future entries. 🙂 Till then stay safe and blessed ❤

maxresdefault

NEVER Feel Rejected Again.

I chose this topic because I think we can agree that you have been rejected in one way or another at some point in your life. We all have. Rejection sucks and in many cases it is inevitable, even when you have given your all just to succeed. I want to encourage you to foster a mindset that can lead you to think and manifest ‘reject proof’ thoughts and behaviors. This will help you be more confident and successful in life, from applying for your dream job to not feeling hurt when someone doesn’t give you the inclusion or acceptance you long for. Rejection is a fight you face in your mind and can either leave you feeling hopeless or stronger, depending on how you process it. Strong people use rejection to catapult them into worlds unknown whilst others refuse to grow when adversity hits. If you want to be strong in the face of rejection then listen up, here are 3 ways to never feel rejected again.

 

1. You use rejection as an opportunity to grow and not be defined!

First off I wanted to insert this blog post by Keenan Patram who told his story of being rejected by a girl he really liked. Their relationship started well but then she slowly began avoiding him. As time passed and frustration grew, he soon realized that the issue was in focusing too much on why she should like him, not why she didn’t. When he changed his mind from being problem based to now thinking for a solution, he noticed more ways that he could improve himself. He used that strong feeling of rejection to stimulate personal reflection. He noticed that through his actions, he was pleading to be with this girl doing way too much to be noticed and validated and this pushed her away. (Mind you it’s great to keep your partner happy in a relationship but if it’s looking like your pleading for them and can’t do anything without them then that’s getting a little too crazy). One of the most impacting statement he said on his blog was…

“People sometimes reject us because of the behavior we exhibit in our interactions with them. When people feel uncomfortable, they’re instinctively going to want to prevent themselves from experiencing annoyance or irritation. And their solution is to remove themselves from our presence. The result is that we end up feeling rejected by it… When we recognize these [unattractive behaviors] and work on them, we’re less likely to make others feel uncomfortable. This doesn’t guarantee other people won’t reject us, but it does decrease the odds that they’ll want to avoid us.”

But that’s why rejection isn’t personal. In this case, they’re not rejecting us; they’re rejecting our behavior. Usually people still care about you but just don’t know how to deal with the annoyance or simply don’t want to be irritated with the behavior anymore. Change your behavior but don’t feel defined by it! You just might experience more opportunities and associations that way.

(Incase you want more of him, here’s the link to Patram’s blog)

But! In cases where rejection may not be because of behavior (maybe it’s just not your time for it yet) you can definitely

 

2. View rejection as evidence that you’re capable of the impossible and push your limits

You don’t always get a no to a job that your obviously well qualified for. Things that are easy to achieve tend to mean that your not reaching beyond what your comfortable with. When you hand in your resume for a job position that you kinda second guess yourself with it means it’s a stretch for you and shows that you’re willing to aim for something higher than usual. This should be encouraging, as it states that you are confident and recognize values and potential skills you have to offer. Getting a no reply in these cases is hard to swallow but should really motivate you to keep pushing forward, stay positive and continue to apply for things that are higher than where you presently are now.

 

3. Have a WHY in your life and go forth with it

People sometimes feel a great sting from rejection because they measure that the amount of approval they get is directly correlated to their self esteem and self worth. Remember that the only approval that really matters in life is your own approval (And God who already approved you before the foundations of the earth were laid). Your main priority isn’t to fit into a group of people but to have others want to know and appreciate you because you fit into yourself. One of the most attractive qualities of an individual is their volition and drive to achieve their goals. If you have a why and you focus on making that why happen, you will find people who are genuinely interested in your dreams and may even want to further it with you! It is so exciting to have people in your life that your not pressured or pleading to belong to. If these people somehow end up exiting your life, you wont feel too bad because your sole purpose wasn’t about acceptance or admiration by them; it was to accomplish your mission, whatever that mission is. Bishop T.D. Jakes, another one of my spiritual fathers, puts it best in this video where he talks about how God uses rejection to push you into his purpose. It may be a little dry but its great food for thought when you get a moment and commit to listening to it.

 

Mom and I ❤

That’s it for this weeks blog! My week was a little more crowded for me. I’ve started working on modules for a project I am doing with my mom and am now taking some online writing courses just out of interest. Thank you so much for reading this week’s blog post. I hope you enjoyed it! Cash me in next week’s post where I’ll be discussing Redeeming your time and how you can make the most out of it in just a few steps. Lately I’ve been experimenting with wordpress’s blogging platform and I want to start adding podcasts to my blogs. I think it’s better for me to talk and have my blogs heard instead of just read, that way they can be listened to on the go or while doing other things. It also lets me have more expression and not have to worry about spelling mistakes and the fear of naturally switching to texting mode lol. Let me know in the comments section for next week if you prefer reading or listening. Feel free to comment your thoughts and follow if you haven’t done so already. Till next time have an awesome week!

5 Essential Steps To Get Over A Breakup

Now, I wish I could title this post as 5 easy and quick ways to get over a break up, however there really aren’t that many standard rules or laws that can work perfectly for everyone. You’re not going to wake up the next morning after having your heart shredded by the person you cared so much about and walk away completely healed, not minding it at all. You may go through a phase of shock and disbelief and even denial, glancing at your cell and telling yourself ‘their still gonna text me, I know it.’ But the fact is, you cannot rely on someone else to give you happiness and make you feel loved. Hell no, that’s probably one of if not THE most tormenting places to be in. News flash! You cannot control another person’s life and force them to treat you the way you want them to treat you. But there’s good news, you can train yourself to love, cherish and treat your own darn self right! Here’s how you’re going to get over this person!

 

Step 1: Take time aside to be with yourself

Dragos Roua

Instead of trying to fill the void of emptiness with a new account on tinder, googling ways to attract your ex back to you or even desperately hooking up with toxic people from your past, first take a second to breathe. Just a second, inhale….exhale. Trust yourself enough to take control of your thoughts and emotions. One of the challenges with break ups is learning to be independent without having that person in your life any longer. You need to revisit yourself and remind you of your own significance and value. You accomplished a lot and made a lot of great things work out before you even met him/her and your qualities haven’t changed, they were never taken away from you.

– Spend a little time discovering more about your strengths and talents. I personally like to go on self-dates or nature walks, carry a little journal with me and write down my experiences in it. This is an investment that you will reap greatly later on.

– Do something spontaneous and fun (not reckless) and add that to your accomplishments. Whatever works best since this is practicing your ability to rediscover who you are.

– There are a lot of different clubs and community social groups you can reach out to for interest sake. Stay outdoors more than indoors and try to reduce social media to a minimum, trust! you will be grateful later.

– This video gives a great example of someone who tells her touching story of love and multiple divorces leading her to take time to love and marry herself first before meeting someone else.

 

Step 2: Don’t pity yourself, instead forgive then ask NOW WHAT?

Learning to be single again is a change you may not have been prepared for, but for most people, that’s not the most challenging part of a break up. The feeling of rejection and betrayal in most testimonies is what really delivers the blow. In some break ups people don’t get the closure they yearn for and that disappointment tends to linger on. Although it is absolutely human and ok to grieve after losing someone, you don’t want those memories and pain to remain the center of your day.

– One thing that I need you to do if you’re still thinking about this person is to learn to forgive them. The person who hurts the most when you do not forgive isn’t them, it’s you! Lewis B. Smedes states “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was really you.” Do yourself a favor, let go and live your life.

– Get back on your feet and ask yourself NOW WHAT? This statement is pity proof because it veers your mind to think up ways of moving on with your life. I actually like to apply this simple concept in every aspect of life because it moves the magnifying glass away from the issue and towards the possibilities I have to grow and be better off.

 

Step 3: Create a gratitude Journal

F.O.

Writing a journal is key in getting over a break up because it

– Shifts your focus to your blessings and privileges

– Reminds you of how much God loves you and strengthens your faith (faith comes by hearing or in this case, reading).

– Helps rebuild your self-esteem and helps you to identify who you really are.

– I don’t just settle with a journal. I personally have to combine it with some sort of uplifting Christian message.

I love my spiritual father Myles Munroe’s sermons because they are some of the the hottest sermons I listen to. They will leave you spiritually woke after listening to even just one of them. Here’s a message about singleness (start at 7:30) that changed my whole perspective on relationships.

This is a bonus video for ladies that I personally really enjoy too!

 

Step 4: Have a good support group

Steer clear of toxic people who bring their self-proclaiming, negative ideologies into your life. These are people that you know aren’t good for you but because of the pain, you now feel like you can turn to them since they give you some sort of negative and/or demeaning attention, which is better than no attention. Work with people in your life who truly want the best for you and desire to help you through this difficult time.

– The first person you need to encounter who really knows you is God. He is your author and he finished your story before you were even born! (like he’s that cool). He leads you in paths of righteousness and leads you by still waters (psalms 23). He promised to create plans to prosper you, give you hope and a future so you’re pretty much set for life if you can trust this promise and keep it moving.

– Next you want to meet with your confidant and let them know what’s up. This could be a parent, sibling or a very close friend who has passed the test of time and is there to really support you through hard times. Ensure it’s someone that knows you well, non-judgmental and caters to your needs as well as you cater to theirs.

 

Step 5: Give back

Goldberg and Rosen

Giving back helps you create significance outside yourself and helps provide you with purpose beyond just the things revolving around your little space.

– Help a stranger out with something or go volunteer at a camp or charity. Participate in things that bring value to others. This is one of the best ways to remind yourself that you do still matter because you’re creating meaning for other people, it gives you purpose. It feels great and hopefully you can continue to lend yourself to your community and maintain good relations with people there long after you heal from the pain of the break up.

I hope you enjoyed this post! Please feel free to comment and let me know of any suggestions you may have for future topics. Feel free to start a conversation below of your thoughts and if there is something else you feel I should have touched on. I appreciate you guys and having my posts read, even if this impacted just one person it makes all the difference. Thanks for visiting this week’s blog! Now’s the time to subscribe if you haven’t done so already to stay updated with new posts and comments. Next week I will be covering secrets to never feeling rejected again. See you over in my next blog post!