The Power Of Anchoring Your Life: Developing A Core

Hey Loves,

It’s been a minute since I last posted on my blog site! Thank you to those of you who reminded me, have kept me accountable, and encouraged me to come back to my writing.

I’ve been fairly busy with the demands of clinicals during this semester. I am currently in my maternity rotation at the Grey Nuns Community Hospital dealing with newborn babies, their mothers and their families. Maternity is an absolutely exciting environment of which I see myself working in once I graduate and become a nurse. Now that’s enough about school (by this time in the semester I’ve had too much of it anyways), lets get right into today’s blog topic!

 

A few days ago during the weekend I was looking at my various social media feeds and I started feeling major FOMO having to miss out on all the hangs I wasn’t able to make. At this time I was focusing my attention on the feelings of missing out as opposed to the tasks at home that needed to be completed. I had to let some people down on planned outings so that I wouldn’t fall behind on house, school and writing commitments. Realizing how affected I was with it all, Mom decided to come sit down and talk about my mood and see where she could support me. She spoke of the importance of developing a core and valuing my personal time with myself. It all sounded important but of course in the mood I was in, I didn’t care much for it. What does that even mean “building a core?” Typing the statement into google only produced multiple workout videos of people doing sit ups and extended versions of the plank.

I let my mom continue her explanation where she used herself as an example. She very rarely feels FOMO because she practically never focuses on the feelings of being excluded, rejected or not belonging. She mentioned that from a young age she had developed a strong core, knowing who she was, where she was going and prioritized her life accordingly, with discipline. On the other hand, I was described to resemble a noodle, meaning I was the kind of person that dropped all responsibilities when the opportunity to hang with others came up. Mom called this noodle phase “not having a strong core.” Now she surely wasn’t trying to say that I could never meet up with other people. Mom was just reaching the root of the problem which was to avoid having my happiness controlled by whether or not people are present in my life… Sorry hold on… I just felt something in the spirit. Let me say it this way now, do not feel that your identity and worth has to be formed only by being in the presence of others…I know some of you guys ain’t ready for this one right here. You can go on back to YouTube and finish your funny cat videos. (I know they’re equally as important).

retrieved from: https://blog.mindvalley.com

So how do you build a strong core? A core is first being able to look inside and recognize your worth and abilities. It means loving yourself wherever you are in your life, both the good and the bad, regrets, failures, achievements and successes. Moving forward from past mistakes and holding on to the future with high expectations of yourself.  A core is like being able to stand your ground on your values and beliefs, especially of yourself whilst not being easily moved. Someone with a strong core is able to maturely handle changes because their emotions and behaviors are not determined by outside circumstances. They are able to withstand the grief of a break up and/or loss because they have anchored themselves in something of value. People who anchor themselves on how other people view them, think of them or affirm their actions can never ever be happy. I have learned that happiness comes from someone who feels complete in themselves without regard to circumstances or the influences of others.

The following are 3 tactics which could serve as helpful to you in the development of a strong core.

  1. Writing empowering questions

Empowering questions help to shift your focus from negative thinking to positive thinking. It empowers you to take control of your emotional state and encourage more positive thought processes.

  1. Write down a negative thought/question that you tend to frequently have:

Example: I’m always feeling down in the relationships I try to form. They are always fake. Am I just someone that has a hard time making true friends?

retrieved from: http://sourcesofinsight.com

Empowering question to combat negative one might look like:

How do I make sure that I no longer feel down or fake in my relationships? How do I ensure that I attract real substantial and positive people into my life?

This way of thinking as opposed to the one above helps you to take more control of your situation. It suggests that the problem isn’t on you to be blamed, instead it launches you into looking for solutions to your problem. Some ways to act on this empowering questions depends on what works best for you. For example…

  • Seek the kingdom of God and all else will be added unto you
  • Begin to look for ways to enhance self-love and respect, then equal people will naturally come to you
  • Be focused on a goal and the right people (complimentary) will come to you
  • Stop building your self-worth on how people respond to you
  • Etc…
  1. Social media

Social media can create very negative habits of comparing yourself to another person who is probably in a very different situation than yourself. And who’s to say that they dont have their own struggles to deal with in life too. Regardless, some people try to completely annihilate their social medias. Instead of jumping into a complete elimination social media (which hardly ever lasts long) try to follow pages that are uplifting and encouraging. You can follow some art pages if you like art or technology, medicine, dogs and other animals etc. I’ve noticed that some meme pages are more uplifting than others. Some memes are masked to appear funny but create low self-esteem. Tell me, which type of photo is innocent and which type when consistently seen might create lower self-esteem in you?

  1. Captain and Crew: 5 essential questions to ask yourself

This is the MOST POWERFUL PRACTICE you can do and hold onto in regards to identifying your purpose in life and focus on meaningful things other than multiple other things. My best friend (in my head) and mentor, Myles Munroe, suggested the idea of answering these 5 essential questions of life. They are…

  1. Who Am I? Question of Identity
  2. Why Am I Here? Question of purpose
  3. What Can I do? question of potential
  4. Where Am I Going? Question of destiny
  5. Where Am I From? Question of creation (not heritage)

Because he is the master of this, I will let him explain further. Click the link right here, you won’t regret!

Ultimately you must take control of your negative thoughts and shape them into opportunities to create positive changes in your own life. To build on yourself and make a better you. You may not be able to control your circumstances but you can control how you react to them. You can either be bitter or better from your experiences.

Thanks for reading this week’s blog post! Post a comment and like/follow my blog to stay updated on when new ones appear! Have the most splendid week and stay blessed my people! ❤

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Mastermind: Enjoying the Journey of Your Life

Hello guys and welcome back to my blog! 🙂 

I hope you all are well. Since I am the co-author of the upcoming book The Tri-wisdom Effect, I figured that this week I would share a short excerpt from chapter 5 of our book titled ‘stepping out with what if scenarios’. This chapter is meant to be used as an exercise for readers to Triwisdom their experiences, reduce stress and maximize their effectiveness. This particular poem that I will be sharing may be specific to a parent losing their child, however, the message can be applied to various situations you may experience throughout your life. It is designed to encourage you to think positively, appreciate where you are in life plus truly enjoy the journey and fruit of everything you have been given.

image retrieved from: pixabay.com

Losing the perfect child – Welcome to Holland 

You are grieving the difference between your perfect child and the one you now have. She is permanently maimed by a recent motor vehicle accident and the driver who caused the accident was acquitted. She is in a wheel chair and is totally dependent on others for her daily needs. You love your daughter just the same, but she is no longer the one you had envisioned. Instead of cheering her on to the greater heights that she had dreamed of, you now have to toilet her, tube-feed her, teach her how to speak again, how to use a wheelchair, and so on. Your family is busting at the seams with the myriad of responsibilities necessary to keep your daughter alive, growing and dignified. Accommodating your family functioning to her situation is taking a toll on everyone. Your freedom to come and go as you please, and your freedom to sleep when you want, is gone! You are tired but you must carry on….

***

Now, you may want to relate this situation to Emily Perl Kingsley’s 1987 essay, titled “Welcome to Holland”

Emily describes how expectant parents (of one who will be born disabled), prepare to welcome and cherish their baby, just like their friends would have done. They have envisioned the ‘great joy ahead.’ Excitement is in the air. Kingsley likens this to preparing for a journey to Italy only to find out on the day of fruition that you have landed in Holland. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” 

So you realize that you now have a special needs child and he is yours to keep. “The important thing is that … [who you have for a child isn’t horrible] Its just a different place” to be. “…theres been a change in the flight plan.” You must learn new ways that you had not anticipated, to deal with the situation you had not prepared for. You must learn the language of care-giving and meet different people who might not have met had you not had a special needs child. The excitement you have is a different one. With time you catch on and appreciate who you have. She is different, yes. And has essence -yes. So yes, you begin to enjoy the blessing and the journey.

retrieved from: slideserve.com

“But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned .” The pain of that will never, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss. But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.” 

So take time to enjoy the Journey ❤

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to enjoy your journey in your life. It may not look like that of the IG models you follow nor look like what you may have envisioned for it to be right now. But God states in his word that all things work for good for those who believe in him {Rom 8:28}. Besides we do not go by our own strength but our paths are directed by God himself and we must be trusting and faithful of what he has in store for us {Prov 16:9}. Let hard times be an opportunity to strengthen your faith and draw closer to the healer, the author of your journey. For he has plans to prosper you, plans to give hope and a future {Jerem 29:11), and he makes all things beautiful in their own time {Eccles 3:11}.

Thank you for reading this weeks blog, If you wanna be one of the first people signed up for our book due to be released by the end of 2018, feel free to check out our website triwisdomvillage.com Follow us on the gram and like our page on Facebook @triwisdomvillage.

Subscribe to my blog post so you can stay current when new content is posted. Comment down below if you felt this was helpful for you and any thoughts you might have had while reading it! Till next time guys, stay blessed and love you ❤

 

 

The Habit of Forgiving: 3 Simple Rules to Forgiveness

~To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was none other than yourself~

By Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness is not a form of weakness, although it may feel that way in the process. The objective of forgiveness is more so to grant you peace of mind and personal well-being than to benefit the other person or permit their actions. Forgiveness means to forego the impulse to hold grudges, act with hatred towards another person and miserably stalk them on social media hoping they one day end up in an accident or even more likely, get hit by a meteor so you can lavish yourself in their misery. In fact, this kind of longing for another person’s demise shows them that they have the power to invoke reactions from you and they will see themselves superior to you.

retrieved from: https://askgramps.org

Therefore set yourself apart and allow yourself to forgive. Altogether the hope of wishing someone ill is unhealthy to you alone because you are leaving room for jealousy, anger and ill will. These kinds of feelings won’t do any harm to the other person. It is actually quite similar to drinking poison hoping for the other person to suffer the consequences. I know that many times (probably most times) forgiveness is very difficult especially when betrayal is from your own friends and family. I understand this feeling all too well so I put together my own rules on how to forgive and Here they are!

 

  1. Empathize
retrieved from: https://medium.com/cylinderproject/how-to-actually-empathize-8198e7800166

You may think I’m crazy to say that you, the victim, should empathize with the person who has only been inflicting pain and grief towards you. It’s very humbling to look outside of yourself and veer into the mind of another person; placing yourself into their shoes. Many times, when you do this, you get a better understanding of the person’s intention and in many cases, their intention really isn’t about you or to hurt you. They may just be immature or aren’t sensitive to the pain they are causing you through their behaviors. Other times they could be struggling with something internally and trying to pull you as a victim into their own pain. The longer you know someone, the better you can determine their lifestyle and personality. They may have been brought up in a less privileged home or had issues in their life that shaped them to be where they are now. This does not mean you excuse their actions, rather it means you should try and not take them too personally. The act of seeing the situation through their eyes is selfless since it takes your mind away from yourself in order to consider where the other person is in their life. Imagine if you did someone wrong and instead of lunging at you, they take a moment to conclude the situation with understanding and forgiveness. It would make you jump for joy especially when you know you don’t deserve it.

Having a friend do this for us or us doing this for a friend helps us get a glimpse of just how immense the forgiveness God granted to us is. He carried the cross for our sins and was crucified in the most gruesome way but even amongst all of that, instead of casting us down, because in fact he still was God, he said “forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Like Christ we should study the word of God and pray to develop a heart of forgiveness and show how much we truly love others and ourselves.

  1. Heal

Take a step back, analyze the situation, ask yourself what could have been done better as opposed to identifying the stupid one, or the one at fault who deserves to be punished. Just like in my previous post on grieving and letting go, allow yourself to know and feel the hurt you currently feel then let it go. Recognize its pain but then you must eventually get to a place where you can ask yourself this question: Now What? It’s a question that pushes your mind from being reactive to being proactive and searching out solutions to heal yourself from the psychological, mental and/or physical damage that was caused.

retrieved from: https://lcmi.org/ministries/healing-the-heart/

Furthermore, another beneficial part of healing requires some separation from the individual(s) to let off some steam. It gives you perspective on what steps to take next and provides ample time for you to recollect yourself and focus on things that progress you forwards. Find scriptures of forgiveness from the word of God in your bible or online and meditate on them. So much that they become similar to song lyrics that get stuck in your head (this is actually how I memorize verses, through songs and tunes cause they stick better). Leave the pain in God’s hands and he will guide you through the tough time of forgiving.

  1. Revenge… but not really

Lastly take revenge! Grab their toothbrush and use it to wipe the sides of the toilet bowl…said no true God fearing individual ever! Ok, so Revenge is sweet but it really only gives you short term satisfaction. Anger will continue to well up between the 2 of you, especially if someones breath starts smelling like literal shit (ok never do this its so unhygienic). If anything pray and ask God to show you how to forgive with grace. I remember a time when I was so mad at someone in my family that it humbled me to my knees and I had to ask God in that moment why our relationship had gotten so bad. I felt a strong inclination to forgive the person and tears began to well up in my eyes as I felt the burden rising from my chest. I remembered that it was not my battle, God had already redeemed me at the cross but for now I must grow myself to work better with this person. I then had a deeper appreciation towards Gods forgiveness and patience in my own life.

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/revenge

A lesson I learned was to take all painful incidents as opportunities to build my faith because it is the best investment I could do for myself. Never linger on ways to get back at the other person, simply improve in yourself and your faith and God will work with the rest. God said that revenge is his so place your trust in him. Ultimately I also believe that success in its own way is the best revenge. Place your energy into making the best out of your circumstance and building yourself in Christ’s likeness. By doing this you will have spiritual success which has many byproducts like financial stability, wealth, wisdom, patience and more!

 

Thank you for reading this weeks blog! comment down below your thoughts or share your experiences on having to forgive someone or maybe even someone forgiving you. Like, comment, and subscribe to receive notifications for future posts. in the meantime enjoy your week, stay blessed and continue to learn, grow and prosper! ❤ 

S -E- X: Oh, So Keeping Yourself for Marriage isn’t wrong??? + 3 Ways this can be achieved

Just a disclaimer, my views on this topic will be heavily fueled by my religious affiliation to Christianity. This means that I will be referencing the bible often so if you got a problem with it, feel free to skedaddle. Also if you are one of the Kenyan papa’s, mama’s or elders who feel that this topic is ‘improper’ feel free to talk to me afterwards but leave your fimbo’s and slippers at home (its winter anyways).

The idea of sex, at least in my household, is often an unspoken, forbidden topic to address. The unfortunate thing about it is that sex, in a lustful manner, is hyper-advertised everywhere in our society. If you don’t learn about how sex is defined in the bible, then the world will gladly teach you their understanding of it. Our hyper-sexualized environment sends out a message of lust; that sex in nature is about immediate gratification with little discernment. As I mention this, you may be playing out a steamy scene from a recent movie or T.V. show you watched where a man whisked a woman away from the club, back to his apartment after their first encounter only to end up waking up tangled in bed sheets with no further objectives. These kinds of encounters are common in cinema but often leaves a void of unhappiness and unfulfillment because honestly, it’s a really shallow way of relating to others. This is not the way God designed how sex and marriage should look like.

My objective for this post is to write on why it is ok to keep yourself pure or celibate in honour of marriage and 3 ways on how this can be achieved.

***

Why wait or hold off from sex until marriage?

As youths and young adults we are introduced to the concept of sex early.  However, your understanding of it may not be aligned with its original intent, which is best derived from God himself because duh, he’s the all-knowing creator of it. As twisted as it has become, sex is honestly a great thing absent of sin when done right. Hold onto your seats I’m about to preach! The bible defines sex or the idea of sex as a man leaving his parents and uniting himself to his WIFE (note it doesn’t say girlfriend or side chick, it says wife; get her a ring and issa wife). The world of course portrays sex as a regular activity which everyone participates in with no harm to it. The truth is there may not be any immediate consequences (if you’re lucky) but there may be emotional and psychological damage during the process.

You will end up giving a piece of yourself to the individual you are being intimate with whether you know It or not. You are at your most vulnerable during sex because it is an act of trust with some level of expectations or feelings of entitlement afterwards. For example, you could feel entitled to loyalty from the person you sleep with but that person won’t act loyal since they don’t have a reason for it. Marriage binds 2 people together with a promise. God intended thorough commitment and respect to underlie the purpose of marriage, this way your emotions, psychological, and physical health stay intact and protected.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 states that it is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God. Since you are the child of the most-high God, made in his own image and crafted in his likeness, you are also expected to know him through having a relationship with him. You no longer belong to yourself, you are bought with the precious blood of Christ so you are encouraged to abide in his will which is set out only to benefit you. Imagine, your faithful God wouldn’t just stop at sacrificing his beloved son to help you enter heaven but also to give you the option to follow him, choose life, protect yourself and achieve success as you power through life. It is truly a selfless amazing act isn’t it?

Even if you are not a Christian, the principle of abstaining from sex until marriage has more benefits than not. The reasons outlined above still apply to you if you want to protect yourself from the consequences that arise from sex before marriage. In addition, abstinence helps lower the risks of contracting an STI and helps you focus more on the person’s qualities and things like whether or not they’re actually a good fit for you.

Lastly, please do not beat yourself up if you are no longer pure. This is not a post on condemnation. The bible says in 1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. We are not our mistakes or even our past choices, if you know better you do better. God actually considers you ‘pure’ through the light of Jesus Christ so you dont have to carry that burden any further from here on out. In fact, your sins were forgiven before you were even born! Live life now like you are living for Christ, its the only way you can walk guilt free and still enjoy the pleasures of life within the structure God designed for it! ❤

If you seek more encouragement with celibacy, click here to Devon Franklin and Meagan Good’s testimony on why they chose marriage before sex while working in Hollywood.

***

If you are young and interested in dating but want to save yourself for marriage, here are 3 ways to prevent falling into the temptation of sex before saying “I do.”

  1. Know the difference between someone who respects your decision and someone who doesn’t

I think the best way to say this is to just be equally yoked in a relationship, this way you already have similar foundations and values and can understand each others requirements better. Your partner should be able to respect you and vice versa for wanting to save yourself for marriage. Ladies, a guy who respects your decision shows it by asking how he can be the most helpful in this regard, and encourage you to let him know if he is crossing any lines or making things difficult for you. He will also accept your explanation without further questioning or making you feel guilty/pressured about it. Be with someone who encourages you to be who you are, stand by what you believe in and optimally loves God as much if not more than you do! (Kudos to those of you who are with a partner like this already, may God direct and bless your paths). If that person does not respect or encourage your decision, it is better for them to be alone 🙂

Click here for the link to 5 things man needs before woman by the one and only Dr. Myles Munroe (mind blowing)

  1. Have confidence in stating your boundaries

Don’t wait until you are in a horizontal position to inform your partner about your boundaries and expectations. Instead, if you are serious about entering into a relationship with someone, you need to express your beliefs on sex, intimacy and marriage as soon as possible (first 3 dates if possible). Remember that you are dating with intention, not just for fun and short lived pleasure. Do not be ashamed to talk about your faith either, some people are Christians but are ashamed of losing their partner because of their belief in Christ. Matthew 10:32-33 states ‘So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.’ I dont know about you but I would much rather be acknowledged by Jesus than a person. Now whether you are a man or woman, part of defining the relationship is being clear about your expectations, that way you give them the freedom to walk away and not feel like their time was wasted. Having someone who waits till it is too late or changes their minds about a relationship later is really frustrating. It’s better to get a clear understanding from the beginning so you dont feel played, used, or that your time was wasted! trust me I’ve been in a situation like this in a platonic relationship and its the last time I will let someone take advantage of my precious time.

  1. Find appropriate ways to show your partner that you love them

Love isn’t just summed up in sex, there are so many other ways to show your love to your partner. For example, you could cancel something in your schedule that you value to make room to see them, this can make your partner feel  important in your life. You could also give them words of affirmation and show real support for them in their choices. You could lend a hand and offer your time or understanding of something to benefit them so they feel appreciated. There are different love languages that people respond to. Figuring out what love language your partner speaks helps veer the relationship away from sex and more towards investing and growing each other. This goes both ways, it’s a mutual relationship so both parties should feel appreciated otherwise there would need to be some changes made in order to enhance the health of the relationship. So be creative and find ways to please your partner making them feel lucky to have you.  

 

Thank you for reading this weeks blog post! Feel free to comment your thoughts down below on how it made you feel? Are you more confident now approaching this topic and has it encouraged you to define the relationship before getting too deep into it? Come back next week where my new suggested topic will be on betrayal and forgiveness. I apologize for not posting every Wednesday as I would have liked to originally. It’s harder than I thought and I recognize that a group of you check my blog on Wednesdays for a new post. I will try my best to post once a week but I cant promise that it will be on one day. Therefore if you just subscribe, you will be notified of new posts when they arrive instead of expecting it on one particular day. Either way, Thank you for your commitment to my blog. I love you guys and God bless!

Knowing When to let Go: A Personal Experience

I apologize for the long leave of absence guys! Ok, Ok so here’s what happened. I actually recorded a podcast with a guest that sounded absolutely amazing! We spoke on the topic of knowing when to let go and we broke it down into a great step by step audio recording. I mean I was mad excited to upload it onto my post but then I couldn’t figure out how to transport it from my email to my blog. I used like a free downloaded app before but it expired and was asking me to pay to renew it. This girl is broke so I decided to hit the internet and search for a different way to upload it and of course, all the tutorials seemed to favor mac users…and again this girl is broke so like yeah…I’m using an acer up in here.

Anyways, so I’ve taken the liberty to type the post instead of record it. I’ll try to record again another time but for now here’s a story on learning when to let go.  🙂

retrieved from: https://www.mindful.org/power-letting-go/

My inspiration for this topic is a personal experience on knowing when to let go. This just doesn’t apply to relationships, but also other situations in your life. A personal one that I want to share (which sounded so good in the podcast ughhh!) is an experience that occurred not too long ago. Out of nowhere, I started seeing myself serving on a team at my church and I knew that I really wanted to be on this particular team. Before I had the chance to inform anyone, the leader of that team contacted me and requested that I audition for it. My heart sunk and I felt a rush of fear and excitement because I never thought that I would be sought after nor that it would happen so soon. I got myself together and auditioned on the spot and managed to get accepted onto the team; I was so proud of myself.

I was told I had to attend practice for a minimum of 3 weeks and to have served on a different team for at least 3 months (which I had accomplished already) before I could get scheduled. I sacrificed to attend practices amidst an already busy schedule with school and writing my book. As time passed I started noticing that I wasn’t going to be scheduled any time soon. I spent a little over 6 months coming to practices and waiting for my name to appear on the team’s schedule which never happened. I tried to communicate my concerns but I only ever heard back excuses, nothing that was solution based or could help me improve in my practice. The lack of communication left room for me to wonder if maybe I just sucked and no one wanted to tell me, or maybe there’s a personal issue that hasn’t been resolved and I didn’t know about. I tried my best to be patient with it all but it was just hurting me and I felt awkward when I saw other people who auditioned months after me getting scheduled before me. I lost hope.

retrieved from: https://www.pinterest.ca

In the end I finally learned that I wasn’t being scheduled because I didn’t meet the standards they were expecting. It was harsh to say after so long of coming to practice. I kind of felt used, judged and demeaned, especially since I didn’t know what these standards actually were and I wasn’t even the one who asked to be on the team to begin with. I knew that if I sought out power and forced my way in, the fact that I wasn’t welcome already would just make it worse and even change the dynamics of the team altogether.

I had to come to terms with myself and reflect on the unsuccessful attempt I had. I invested a lot of time and emotions but I learned a lot more through it and I’m grateful for the experience. I thought that holding on and hanging in there indefinitely was a sign of perseverance and strength, but there are times when it takes even more strength to know when to finally let go. I had to adopt a heart of forgiveness. I couldn’t control the situation, but I could control how I react and feel about it afterwards. I had to remind myself of the things I should be prioritizing in my life like writing my book and entering into my third year of studies. I chose to take power back into my own hands where it belonged and stick to my self-growth. I have also learned to appreciate the team I am currently serving on more and how much happier I am just being content and open with the relations I have already formed.

I really did feel like I was grieving the loss of a dream. The stages of grief can be broken down into 5 steps as stated by Kubler Ross

retrieved from: https://liv4today.blog/2017/03/17/emotional-reflections-stages-of-grief-through-infertility/

Apply your own situation to this diagram and you may see yourself going through the stages of grief as well. Although this diagram makes it look like it happens on a daily basis lol!

Keep in mind that in life it’s better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb rather than the top of one that you don’t. Follow your own intuition and realize when the best time to let go is (hopefully sooner than mine). It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken, sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Distance may be necessary to enable you to see things more clearly and allow you to grow stronger when separated from old habits, relationships and circumstances. Instead find something else that truly moves you and has substance in your life, something that gets you up early that you are so excited to do. That thing for me is dancing and hearing a new song that I just have to teach myself to play on keys.

Lastly don’t get in the habit of allowing yourself to obsess over the past. Holding onto what’s no longer there holds too many of us back and ends up steering the course of our present endeavours. LET IT GO! Close some old doors today so you can start anew and continue to discover who you are and learn of people who truly want the best and most for you. That is all.

Thank you for reading this week’s blog post. Feel free to comment down below some of your ideas and thoughts while reading the post. Also feel free to share what gets you up early and focused or love doing right now. Next week, hopefully, I’ll be sharing my experiences in nursing school and some of the things I’ve learned now entering into my third year. Thanks so much and I’ll catch you guys later in next week’s blog. Ciao!

 

Growing up with hope: Part 4

Hey guys, this is the final part to my 4 week series, taking content from my chapter within my book The Tri-Wisdom Effect. I am so glad to have gotten this out and written about my experiences growing up with hope. I hope these posts were meaningful and worthwhile to you guys as well, especially towards those of you who can relate or have similar experiences as me.

 

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”

   ~Seneca~

Hope and me:

I am much better off for having Hope in my life and I trust that he is better off for having me as his sister, even though I didn’t feel that way to begin with. By adopting the golden rule for my brother, I had to learn to shift my thinking from problem focused to understanding, accepting and solution seeking. I had to recognize that he is much more than just a mental illness, he is a guy with unique potential.

Hope needs extra holding of the hands, yes and like anyone else, a little shaping this and that way, but he is my brother and he is the best. I know there’s nothing I can do to change Hope’s diagnosis but I can help him to get to his optimum self by utilizing his strengths, interests and abilities for his own good. I’m glad to be in Hope’s life.

Conclusion:

The main message I would like to convey to other youths is to never give up on your Hope. If you are like me and have a single mom along with a special needs family member or just simply have a single parent, always make sure you put in the time to help them out. This shows that you’re appreciative and acknowledge their sacrifices. They in turn won’t feel alone in their efforts to raise you. Because your parent(s) love you as much as my mom loves me, you will feel their support even if your special needs sibling constantly snatches their attention away.

Live life one day at a time and invest in those closest to you. I confided a lot in my mom and my life has been a wonderful one due to her love and support for me and my three brothers.

Develop meaningful relationships with other people outside the family too and never see hardships as things that have the power to destroy you. Hard times challenge you, mature you and make a better version of you.

Challenge yourself each day to grow, learn, prosper and continue to place your best foot forward. This is the theme I maintain in my blog where I continue to post more information about my life living with Hope and other assorted issues/experiences children and youths may go through.

***

Once again, Thanks so much for joining me on this series of hope and reading my blogs thus far. I am happy to say that next week I’ll be starting a new topic on ‘knowing when to let go’ of things like relationships and putting more of your time and energy on enhancing yourself, loving and living a healthy life. Get rid of toxicity, let it go, move forward with yourself and maintain control of your future! Let me know your thoughts down below in the comments section about next weeks topic and the series that just ended above.

Thank you and cash you out next week, Stay blessed ❤

Ps. I have to add the link to my moms more professional blog here

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