Hi y’all! Thanks for coming back to my blog and If your’e new, welcome! Today I will be covering part 2 of where I left off from last weeks topic “3 barriers to intimacy with God.” This week I will be discussing the best way to overcome those barriers. Let’s jump right in!
Last week I gave 3 examples of barriers that prevent us from experiencing intimacy with God which were a hurt heart, mistaken identity & cherished sin. Now for this blog entry, I did consider structuring it to reflect solutions to each one of these 3 barriers, but now while writing on it, my heart has settled on speaking about the one best way to negate barriers to intimacy with God.
To sum it up, in order to overcome barriers you must first withdraw yourself from outside people, events and things, quite yourself before God and commune with him. As simple as that. The scriptures make it clear when it says “Come boldly before the throne of grace” (Hebrews 4:16). And the reason it says to come boldly is because you are the righteousness of Christ. God is more than willing to take you back (read about the prodigal son in Luke 15). If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us (1 John 1:9). See, the barriers discussed above are all summarized into the mindsets of guilt and shame, which prevent us from living our best life within God’s presence.
The scriptures remind us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). In order to do that you have to intentionally desire the word of God and commune with him through prayer and worship. This is not to satisfy a religious call, but rather to genuinely cultivate and grow relationship with Jesus. Rectify you motives in all things and lay it down before the altar so that God has room to move in your life without your walls being up towards him. He wants a relationship with you, do not let anything stand in the way of that. Let him in. Let yourself enjoy the freedom that comes through him who embodies it. Trust me, it’s so worth it!!!
Next week I plan to make a video on the word of God and why it plays a significant role in a Christian’s walk with Christ.
See you all next week, happy New Year & stay blessed! ❤
~To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was none other than yourself~
By Lewis B. Smedes
Forgiveness is not a form of weakness, although it may feel that way in the process. The objective of forgiveness is more so to grant you peace of mind and personal well-being than to benefit the other person or permit their actions. Forgiveness means to forego the impulse to hold grudges, act with hatred towards another person and miserably stalk them on social media hoping they one day end up in an accident or even more likely, get hit by a meteor so you can lavish yourself in their misery. In fact, this kind of longing for another person’s demise shows them that they have the power to invoke reactions from you and they will see themselves superior to you.
Therefore set yourself apart and allow yourself to forgive. Altogether the hope of wishing someone ill is unhealthy to you alone because you are leaving room for jealousy, anger and ill will. These kinds of feelings won’t do any harm to the other person. It is actually quite similar to drinking poison hoping for the other person to suffer the consequences. I know that many times (probably most times) forgiveness is very difficult especially when betrayal is from your own friends and family. I understand this feeling all too well so I put together my own rules on how to forgive and Here they are!
You may think I’m crazy to say that you, the victim, should empathize with the person who has only been inflicting pain and grief towards you. It’s very humbling to look outside of yourself and veer into the mind of another person; placing yourself into their shoes. Many times, when you do this, you get a better understanding of the person’s intention and in many cases, their intention really isn’t about you or to hurt you. They may just be immature or aren’t sensitive to the pain they are causing you through their behaviors. Other times they could be struggling with something internally and trying to pull you as a victim into their own pain. The longer you know someone, the better you can determine their lifestyle and personality. They may have been brought up in a less privileged home or had issues in their life that shaped them to be where they are now. This does not mean you excuse their actions, rather it means you should try and not take them too personally. The act of seeing the situation through their eyes is selfless since it takes your mind away from yourself in order to consider where the other person is in their life. Imagine if you did someone wrong and instead of lunging at you, they take a moment to conclude the situation with understanding and forgiveness. It would make you jump for joy especially when you know you don’t deserve it.
Having a friend do this for us or us doing this for a friend helps us get a glimpse of just how immense the forgiveness God granted to us is. He carried the cross for our sins and was crucified in the most gruesome way but even amongst all of that, instead of casting us down, because in fact he still was God, he said “forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Like Christ we should study the word of God and pray to develop a heart of forgiveness and show how much we truly love others and ourselves.
Take a step back, analyze the situation, ask yourself what could have been done better as opposed to identifying the stupid one, or the one at fault who deserves to be punished. Just like in my previous post on grieving and letting go, allow yourself to know and feel the hurt you currently feel then let it go. Recognize its pain but then you must eventually get to a place where you can ask yourself this question: Now What? It’s a question that pushes your mind from being reactive to being proactive and searching out solutions to heal yourself from the psychological, mental and/or physical damage that was caused.
Furthermore, another beneficial part of healing requires some separation from the individual(s) to let off some steam. It gives you perspective on what steps to take next and provides ample time for you to recollect yourself and focus on things that progress you forwards. Find scriptures of forgiveness from the word of God in your bible or online and meditate on them. So much that they become similar to song lyrics that get stuck in your head (this is actually how I memorize verses, through songs and tunes cause they stick better). Leave the pain in God’s hands and he will guide you through the tough time of forgiving.
Revenge… but not really
Lastly take revenge! Grab their toothbrush and use it to wipe the sides of the toilet bowl…said no true God fearing individual ever! Ok, so Revenge is sweet but it really only gives you short term satisfaction. Anger will continue to well up between the 2 of you, especially if someones breath starts smelling like literal shit (ok never do this its so unhygienic). If anything pray and ask God to show you how to forgive with grace. I remember a time when I was so mad at someone in my family that it humbled me to my knees and I had to ask God in that moment why our relationship had gotten so bad. I felt a strong inclination to forgive the person and tears began to well up in my eyes as I felt the burden rising from my chest. I remembered that it was not my battle, God had already redeemed me at the cross but for now I must grow myself to work better with this person. I then had a deeper appreciation towards Gods forgiveness and patience in my own life.
A lesson I learned was to take all painful incidents as opportunities to build my faith because it is the best investment I could do for myself. Never linger on ways to get back at the other person, simply improve in yourself and your faith and God will work with the rest. God said that revenge is his so place your trust in him. Ultimately I also believe that success in its own way is the best revenge. Place your energy into making the best out of your circumstance and building yourself in Christ’s likeness. By doing this you will have spiritual success which has many byproducts like financial stability, wealth, wisdom, patience and more!
Thank you for reading this weeks blog! comment down below your thoughts or share your experiences on having to forgive someone or maybe even someone forgiving you. Like, comment, and subscribe to receive notifications for future posts. in the meantime enjoy your week, stay blessed and continue to learn, grow and prosper! ❤
I apologize for the long leave of absence guys! Ok, Ok so here’s what happened. I actually recorded a podcast with a guest that sounded absolutely amazing! We spoke on the topic of knowing when to let go and we broke it down into a great step by step audio recording. I mean I was mad excited to upload it onto my post but then I couldn’t figure out how to transport it from my email to my blog. I used like a free downloaded app before but it expired and was asking me to pay to renew it. This girl is broke so I decided to hit the internet and search for a different way to upload it and of course, all the tutorials seemed to favor mac users…and again this girl is broke so like yeah…I’m using an acer up in here.
Anyways, so I’ve taken the liberty to type the post instead of record it. I’ll try to record again another time but for now here’s a story on learning when to let go. 🙂
My inspiration for this topic is a personal experience on knowing when to let go. This just doesn’t apply to relationships, but also other situations in your life. A personal one that I want to share (which sounded so good in the podcast ughhh!) is an experience that occurred not too long ago. Out of nowhere, I started seeing myself serving on a team at my church and I knew that I really wanted to be on this particular team. Before I had the chance to inform anyone, the leader of that team contacted me and requested that I audition for it. My heart sunk and I felt a rush of fear and excitement because I never thought that I would be sought after nor that it would happen so soon. I got myself together and auditioned on the spot and managed to get accepted onto the team; I was so proud of myself.
I was told I had to attend practice for a minimum of 3 weeks and to have served on a different team for at least 3 months (which I had accomplished already) before I could get scheduled. I sacrificed to attend practices amidst an already busy schedule with school and writing my book. As time passed I started noticing that I wasn’t going to be scheduled any time soon. I spent a little over 6 months coming to practices and waiting for my name to appear on the team’s schedule which never happened. I tried to communicate my concerns but I only ever heard back excuses, nothing that was solution based or could help me improve in my practice. The lack of communication left room for me to wonder if maybe I just sucked and no one wanted to tell me, or maybe there’s a personal issue that hasn’t been resolved and I didn’t know about. I tried my best to be patient with it all but it was just hurting me and I felt awkward when I saw other people who auditioned months after me getting scheduled before me. I lost hope.
In the end I finally learned that I wasn’t being scheduled because I didn’t meet the standards they were expecting. It was harsh to say after so long of coming to practice. I kind of felt used, judged and demeaned, especially since I didn’t know what these standards actually were and I wasn’t even the one who asked to be on the team to begin with. I knew that if I sought out power and forced my way in, the fact that I wasn’t welcome already would just make it worse and even change the dynamics of the team altogether.
I had to come to terms with myself and reflect on the unsuccessful attempt I had. I invested a lot of time and emotions but I learned a lot more through it and I’m grateful for the experience. I thought that holding on and hanging in there indefinitely was a sign of perseverance and strength, but there are times when it takes even more strength to know when to finally let go. I had to adopt a heart of forgiveness. I couldn’t control the situation, but I could control how I react and feel about it afterwards. I had to remind myself of the things I should be prioritizing in my life like writing my book and entering into my third year of studies. I chose to take power back into my own hands where it belonged and stick to my self-growth. I have also learned to appreciate the team I am currently serving on more and how much happier I am just being content and open with the relations I have already formed.
I really did feel like I was grieving the loss of a dream. The stages of grief can be broken down into 5 steps as stated by Kubler Ross
Apply your own situation to this diagram and you may see yourself going through the stages of grief as well. Although this diagram makes it look like it happens on a daily basis lol!
Keep in mind that in life it’s better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb rather than the top of one that you don’t. Follow your own intuition and realize when the best time to let go is (hopefully sooner than mine). It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken, sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Distance may be necessary to enable you to see things more clearly and allow you to grow stronger when separated from old habits, relationships and circumstances. Instead find something else that truly moves you and has substance in your life, something that gets you up early that you are so excited to do. That thing for me is dancing and hearing a new song that I just have to teach myself to play on keys.
Lastly don’t get in the habit of allowing yourself to obsess over the past. Holding onto what’s no longer there holds too many of us back and ends up steering the course of our present endeavours. LET IT GO! Close some old doors today so you can start anew and continue to discover who you are and learn of people who truly want the best and most for you. That is all.
Thank you for reading this week’s blog post. Feel free to comment down below some of your ideas and thoughts while reading the post. Also feel free to share what gets you up early and focused or love doing right now. Next week, hopefully, I’ll be sharing my experiences in nursing school and some of the things I’ve learned now entering into my third year. Thanks so much and I’ll catch you guys later in next week’s blog. Ciao!