It’s been a minute since I last posted on my blog site! Thank you to those of you who reminded me, have kept me accountable, and encouraged me to come back to my writing.
I’ve been fairly busy with the demands of clinicals during this semester. I am currently in my maternity rotation at the Grey Nuns Community Hospital dealing with newborn babies, their mothers and their families. Maternity is an absolutely exciting environment of which I see myself working in once I graduate and become a nurse. Now that’s enough about school (by this time in the semester I’ve had too much of it anyways), lets get right into today’s blog topic!
A few days ago during the weekend I was looking at my various social media feeds and I started feeling major FOMO having to miss out on all the hangs I wasn’t able to make. At this time I was focusing my attention on the feelings of missing out as opposed to the tasks at home that needed to be completed. I had to let some people down on planned outings so that I wouldn’t fall behind on house, school and writing commitments. Realizing how affected I was with it all, Mom decided to come sit down and talk about my mood and see where she could support me. She spoke of the importance of developing a core and valuing my personal time with myself. It all sounded important but of course in the mood I was in, I didn’t care much for it. What does that even mean “building a core?” Typing the statement into google only produced multiple workout videos of people doing sit ups and extended versions of the plank.
I let my mom continue her explanation where she used herself as an example. She very rarely feels FOMO because she practically never focuses on the feelings of being excluded, rejected or not belonging. She mentioned that from a young age she had developed a strong core, knowing who she was, where she was going and prioritized her life accordingly, with discipline. On the other hand, I was described to resemble a noodle, meaning I was the kind of person that dropped all responsibilities when the opportunity to hang with others came up. Mom called this noodle phase “not having a strong core.” Now she surely wasn’t trying to say that I could never meet up with other people. Mom was just reaching the root of the problem which was to avoid having my happiness controlled by whether or not people are present in my life… Sorry hold on… I just felt something in the spirit. Let me say it this way now, do not feel that your identity and worth has to be formed only by being in the presence of others…I know some of you guys ain’t ready for this one right here. You can go on back to YouTube and finish your funny cat videos. (I know they’re equally as important).
So how do you build a strong core? A core is first being able to look inside and recognize your worth and abilities. It means loving yourself wherever you are in your life, both the good and the bad, regrets, failures, achievements and successes. Moving forward from past mistakes and holding on to the future with high expectations of yourself. A core is like being able to stand your ground on your values and beliefs, especially of yourself whilst not being easily moved. Someone with a strong core is able to maturely handle changes because their emotions and behaviors are not determined by outside circumstances. They are able to withstand the grief of a break up and/or loss because they have anchored themselves in something of value. People who anchor themselves on how other people view them, think of them or affirm their actions can never ever be happy. I have learned that happiness comes from someone who feels complete in themselves without regard to circumstances or the influences of others.
The following are 3 tactics which could serve as helpful to you in the development of a strong core.
- Writing empowering questions
Empowering questions help to shift your focus from negative thinking to positive thinking. It empowers you to take control of your emotional state and encourage more positive thought processes.
- Write down a negative thought/question that you tend to frequently have:
Example: I’m always feeling down in the relationships I try to form. They are always fake. Am I just someone that has a hard time making true friends?
Empowering question to combat negative one might look like:
How do I make sure that I no longer feel down or fake in my relationships? How do I ensure that I attract real substantial and positive people into my life?
This way of thinking as opposed to the one above helps you to take more control of your situation. It suggests that the problem isn’t on you to be blamed, instead it launches you into looking for solutions to your problem. Some ways to act on this empowering questions depends on what works best for you. For example…
- Seek the kingdom of God and all else will be added unto you
- Begin to look for ways to enhance self-love and respect, then equal people will naturally come to you
- Be focused on a goal and the right people (complimentary) will come to you
- Stop building your self-worth on how people respond to you
- Social media
Social media can create very negative habits of comparing yourself to another person who is probably in a very different situation than yourself. And who’s to say that they dont have their own struggles to deal with in life too. Regardless, some people try to completely annihilate their social medias. Instead of jumping into a complete elimination social media (which hardly ever lasts long) try to follow pages that are uplifting and encouraging. You can follow some art pages if you like art or technology, medicine, dogs and other animals etc. I’ve noticed that some meme pages are more uplifting than others. Some memes are masked to appear funny but create low self-esteem. Tell me, which type of photo is innocent and which type when consistently seen might create lower self-esteem in you?
- Captain and Crew: 5 essential questions to ask yourself
This is the MOST POWERFUL PRACTICE you can do and hold onto in regards to identifying your purpose in life and focus on meaningful things other than multiple other things. My best friend (in my head) and mentor, Myles Munroe, suggested the idea of answering these 5 essential questions of life. They are…
- Who Am I? Question of Identity
- Why Am I Here? Question of purpose
- What Can I do? question of potential
- Where Am I Going? Question of destiny
- Where Am I From? Question of creation (not heritage)
Because he is the master of this, I will let him explain further. Click the link right here, you won’t regret!
Ultimately you must take control of your negative thoughts and shape them into opportunities to create positive changes in your own life. To build on yourself and make a better you. You may not be able to control your circumstances but you can control how you react to them. You can either be bitter or better from your experiences.
Thanks for reading this week’s blog post! Post a comment and like/follow my blog to stay updated on when new ones appear! Have the most splendid week and stay blessed my people! ❤