Knowing When to let Go: A Personal Experience

I apologize for the long leave of absence guys! Ok, Ok so here’s what happened. I actually recorded a podcast with a guest that sounded absolutely amazing! We spoke on the topic of knowing when to let go and we broke it down into a great step by step audio recording. I mean I was mad excited to upload it onto my post but then I couldn’t figure out how to transport it from my email to my blog. I used like a free downloaded app before but it expired and was asking me to pay to renew it. This girl is broke so I decided to hit the internet and search for a different way to upload it and of course, all the tutorials seemed to favor mac users…and again this girl is broke so like yeah…I’m using an acer up in here.

Anyways, so I’ve taken the liberty to type the post instead of record it. I’ll try to record again another time but for now here’s a story on learning when to let go.  🙂

retrieved from: https://www.mindful.org/power-letting-go/

My inspiration for this topic is a personal experience on knowing when to let go. This just doesn’t apply to relationships, but also other situations in your life. A personal one that I want to share (which sounded so good in the podcast ughhh!) is an experience that occurred not too long ago. Out of nowhere, I started seeing myself serving on a team at my church and I knew that I really wanted to be on this particular team. Before I had the chance to inform anyone, the leader of that team contacted me and requested that I audition for it. My heart sunk and I felt a rush of fear and excitement because I never thought that I would be sought after nor that it would happen so soon. I got myself together and auditioned on the spot and managed to get accepted onto the team; I was so proud of myself.

I was told I had to attend practice for a minimum of 3 weeks and to have served on a different team for at least 3 months (which I had accomplished already) before I could get scheduled. I sacrificed to attend practices amidst an already busy schedule with school and writing my book. As time passed I started noticing that I wasn’t going to be scheduled any time soon. I spent a little over 6 months coming to practices and waiting for my name to appear on the team’s schedule which never happened. I tried to communicate my concerns but I only ever heard back excuses, nothing that was solution based or could help me improve in my practice. The lack of communication left room for me to wonder if maybe I just sucked and no one wanted to tell me, or maybe there’s a personal issue that hasn’t been resolved and I didn’t know about. I tried my best to be patient with it all but it was just hurting me and I felt awkward when I saw other people who auditioned months after me getting scheduled before me. I lost hope.

retrieved from: https://www.pinterest.ca

In the end I finally learned that I wasn’t being scheduled because I didn’t meet the standards they were expecting. It was harsh to say after so long of coming to practice. I kind of felt used, judged and demeaned, especially since I didn’t know what these standards actually were and I wasn’t even the one who asked to be on the team to begin with. I knew that if I sought out power and forced my way in, the fact that I wasn’t welcome already would just make it worse and even change the dynamics of the team altogether.

I had to come to terms with myself and reflect on the unsuccessful attempt I had. I invested a lot of time and emotions but I learned a lot more through it and I’m grateful for the experience. I thought that holding on and hanging in there indefinitely was a sign of perseverance and strength, but there are times when it takes even more strength to know when to finally let go. I had to adopt a heart of forgiveness. I couldn’t control the situation, but I could control how I react and feel about it afterwards. I had to remind myself of the things I should be prioritizing in my life like writing my book and entering into my third year of studies. I chose to take power back into my own hands where it belonged and stick to my self-growth. I have also learned to appreciate the team I am currently serving on more and how much happier I am just being content and open with the relations I have already formed.

I really did feel like I was grieving the loss of a dream. The stages of grief can be broken down into 5 steps as stated by Kubler Ross

retrieved from: https://liv4today.blog/2017/03/17/emotional-reflections-stages-of-grief-through-infertility/

Apply your own situation to this diagram and you may see yourself going through the stages of grief as well. Although this diagram makes it look like it happens on a daily basis lol!

Keep in mind that in life it’s better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb rather than the top of one that you don’t. Follow your own intuition and realize when the best time to let go is (hopefully sooner than mine). It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken, sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Distance may be necessary to enable you to see things more clearly and allow you to grow stronger when separated from old habits, relationships and circumstances. Instead find something else that truly moves you and has substance in your life, something that gets you up early that you are so excited to do. That thing for me is dancing and hearing a new song that I just have to teach myself to play on keys.

Lastly don’t get in the habit of allowing yourself to obsess over the past. Holding onto what’s no longer there holds too many of us back and ends up steering the course of our present endeavours. LET IT GO! Close some old doors today so you can start anew and continue to discover who you are and learn of people who truly want the best and most for you. That is all.

Thank you for reading this week’s blog post. Feel free to comment down below some of your ideas and thoughts while reading the post. Also feel free to share what gets you up early and focused or love doing right now. Next week, hopefully, I’ll be sharing my experiences in nursing school and some of the things I’ve learned now entering into my third year. Thanks so much and I’ll catch you guys later in next week’s blog. Ciao!

 

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