Growing up with hope: Part 4

Hey guys, this is the final part to my 4 week series, taking content from my chapter within my book The Tri-Wisdom Effect. I am so glad to have gotten this out and written about my experiences growing up with hope. I hope these posts were meaningful and worthwhile to you guys as well, especially towards those of you who can relate or have similar experiences as me.

 

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”

   ~Seneca~

Hope and me:

I am much better off for having Hope in my life and I trust that he is better off for having me as his sister, even though I didn’t feel that way to begin with. By adopting the golden rule for my brother, I had to learn to shift my thinking from problem focused to understanding, accepting and solution seeking. I had to recognize that he is much more than just a mental illness, he is a guy with unique potential.

Hope needs extra holding of the hands, yes and like anyone else, a little shaping this and that way, but he is my brother and he is the best. I know there’s nothing I can do to change Hope’s diagnosis but I can help him to get to his optimum self by utilizing his strengths, interests and abilities for his own good. I’m glad to be in Hope’s life.

Conclusion:

The main message I would like to convey to other youths is to never give up on your Hope. If you are like me and have a single mom along with a special needs family member or just simply have a single parent, always make sure you put in the time to help them out. This shows that you’re appreciative and acknowledge their sacrifices. They in turn won’t feel alone in their efforts to raise you. Because your parent(s) love you as much as my mom loves me, you will feel their support even if your special needs sibling constantly snatches their attention away.

Live life one day at a time and invest in those closest to you. I confided a lot in my mom and my life has been a wonderful one due to her love and support for me and my three brothers.

Develop meaningful relationships with other people outside the family too and never see hardships as things that have the power to destroy you. Hard times challenge you, mature you and make a better version of you.

Challenge yourself each day to grow, learn, prosper and continue to place your best foot forward. This is the theme I maintain in my blog where I continue to post more information about my life living with Hope and other assorted issues/experiences children and youths may go through.

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Once again, Thanks so much for joining me on this series of hope and reading my blogs thus far. I am happy to say that next week I’ll be starting a new topic on ‘knowing when to let go’ of things like relationships and putting more of your time and energy on enhancing yourself, loving and living a healthy life. Get rid of toxicity, let it go, move forward with yourself and maintain control of your future! Let me know your thoughts down below in the comments section about next weeks topic and the series that just ended above.

Thank you and cash you out next week, Stay blessed ❤

Ps. I have to add the link to my moms more professional blog here

Click here to join and become Simply Significant at the Tri-Wisdom village. Receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book:

THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

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Click here to sign up for Guidance & Support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

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Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors.

 

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Growing up with hope: Part 3

As promised, Here’s the 3rd snippet of my chapter!

Getting it right: My mom’s recipe for Hope’s Goals and Routines

retrieved by blog: 

Team Hope is composed of my mom, four to five paid caregivers, my two brothers, a social worker and myself. Presently we are incorporating Hope’s strengths and skills into his care and helping him to develop into a functional member of society. He goes out to activities with the various caregivers who are each responsible for some part of his health and well being, thanks to my mom’s diligent planning.

Team Responsibilities:

One caregiver takes Hope to the gym, for sports, to cooking classes and the library. Another helps Hope to volunteer in the community by getting him to make hot chocolate and snacks for the homeless as well as to deliver packages for payment (who knew my brother could ever grow to have a job!). Another female caregiver helps Hope to get ready for the day and sometimes for the night when mom is away. This caregiver ensures good hygiene and grooming, bed making, cleaning up after himself and other activities of daily living. The fourth caregiver gets him to do fun activities like swimming, bowling, attending youth services, hockey games and the like.

My mom coordinates Hope’s care, plans for his present and future goals and all other things associated with his team. I help my mom with the physical care of Hope whenever I am home. My younger brothers also help as much as they can. Honestly, I don’t know how my mom manages without a second driver in the home. It’s an unbelievable mountain of work for her! Must be magic, or maybe just regular large consumption of tea and awkward dancing now and then that does it.

Nothing about Hope, without Hope

retrieved from: https://acookingpotandtwistedtales.com/2017/08/15/stay-and-hope/

As a team we include Hope in all care decisions regardless of his mostly muteness. He understands more than he lets on and mom insists he must be included in all decisions regarding his care. We strive to develop quality and effective Hope-centered care for the good of his overall growth and development. By doing this we help him to pursue his goals of self-esteem, self-awareness, communication and integration into society, recognizing that he’s a human being just like anyone else. Ultimately, we take into consideration Hope’s holistic health including the physical, social, spiritual, psychological and mental aspects of his life. I am amazed at what can be accomplished when inspired, like-minded people come together to achieve a goal!

This is where I will end for part 3 of my chapter’s snippet. I hope you liked and enjoyed it. The final part 4 will be posted next week, hopefully on Wednesday. Feel free to leave a comment on your thoughts down below in the comment section and subscribe for future posts. God bless and see you next week!

Growing up with hope: Part 2

Here’s part 2 of my chapter’s snippet

As an adolescent:

6 years ago >.<

I came to realize the sad fact that some people find humor in abusing the vulnerable. When Hope was veering his teens, a random child took advantage of him by telling him to remove his clothes and run around the neighborhood naked… which he obeyed. Hope used to be compliant at the core. It took my mom three years to teach him to say “No” to unreasonable requests, especially from random bimbos like that kid. Unfortunately, when he finally learnt to say no, he said “no” to everything. It took several more years to train Hope to recalibrate that!

With time I began to understand that Hopes illness was neither his wish nor temporary, but I still felt some embarrassment to be seen in close proximity with him. I wanted to help, but from a distance. It took me some time to learn to empathize and be selfless with Hope.

As an adult:

Now…I’m supposed to adult ~.~

Presently, when Hope comes back home with his caregiver, it limits either my mom’s or my own time to be out. We have to coordinate who will be home early evening to receive Hope when he is ready to return. It’s a sacrifice to cut your day short but at the same time I’m glad I can be put to use for the benefit of my brother and my family. As an adult, I can say with pride that I’m glad I’m responsible enough to care for Hope and be self-directed, having knowledge of his triggers and behaviors.

When it comes to Hope, I can’t help but imagine what goes on in his mind as he goes through life. Does he really know that he is recognized and loved? I can now honestly say that I have accepted my brother Hope just as he is. I’m determined to utilizing his strengths to encourage him and continue to remind him that he is loved just as he is whenever I can.

When settled, my brother Hope is a calm soul, full of energy, handsome, and has a photographic memory. He knows everyone’s birthdays and basically holds a calendar in his head. He never flinches when asked what the date is and he gets it right all the time. Hope will lead you back to your vehicle should you forget where you parked it and he usually knows the direction back home if we are lost. I know you all were thinking he’s just a fat nut case but honestly, he has tons of great qualities.

Hope’s Behaviors We Must Live With

retrieved from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism

If you aren’t familiar with symptoms of Autism, here as some that my brother presents with. Left to himself, my brother Hope does not initiate conversations. Neither does he socialize on his own.

Poor communication and agitation

Hope struggles with voicing his opinion. When asked to state how his day has been he will say ‘uhmmmm’ for what feels like 32 years. He generally answers closed ended questions well though. At times he will lash out and resort to hitting others when he becomes upset. As a family we often have to do some guessing to figure out why he is acting up. Sometimes it’s because he wants to repeat a recently worn shirt before wash day. Other times it is because he doesn’t want to go out with a caregiver and just wants to stay at home and pace all day.

When Hope comes back home after a long day out and he is tired or hungry, he will start stomping on the ground, jumping up and down, attempting to hit others and making noise instead of using his words to express what he wants. We had to learn to place a pillow up for protection, a foot placed over his foot to prevent him from kicking. We also encourage take in ten deep breaths to ease stress and calm him down. Ultimately, Hope’s fast acting medication is placed under his tongue to save the day.

What learning might mean to some

With Hope, you just never know what craziness will come out of the good things he learns. For example, my mom taught Hope how to call for help in case of emergencies, as a safety measure. So now, when agitated, Hope discretely picks up the phone and calls 911 then hangs up without saying a word. The police will then show up to see if everything is all right. To prevent the diversion of police resources away from where it is needed, we have had to hide the home phone under couches or in different rooms. This story is like the boy who cried wolf. Hope has called the station so many times that the police probably wouldn’t even give a raccoons behind to respond anymore…

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This is where I will end for part 2 of my chapter. I hope you liked and enjoyed it. Part 3 will be posted next week. Feel free to leave a comment on your thoughts down below in the comment section and subscribe for future posts. God bless and see you next week!