NEVER Feel Rejected Again.

I chose this topic because I think we can agree that you have been rejected in one way or another at some point in your life. We all have. Rejection sucks and in many cases it is inevitable, even when you have given your all just to succeed. I want to encourage you to foster a mindset that can lead you to think and manifest ‘reject proof’ thoughts and behaviors. This will help you be more confident and successful in life, from applying for your dream job to not feeling hurt when someone doesn’t give you the inclusion or acceptance you long for. Rejection is a fight you face in your mind and can either leave you feeling hopeless or stronger, depending on how you process it. Strong people use rejection to catapult them into worlds unknown whilst others refuse to grow when adversity hits. If you want to be strong in the face of rejection then listen up, here are 3 ways to never feel rejected again.

 

1. You use rejection as an opportunity to grow and not be defined!

First off I wanted to insert this blog post by Keenan Patram who told his story of being rejected by a girl he really liked. Their relationship started well but then she slowly began avoiding him. As time passed and frustration grew, he soon realized that the issue was in focusing too much on why she should like him, not why she didn’t. When he changed his mind from being problem based to now thinking for a solution, he noticed more ways that he could improve himself. He used that strong feeling of rejection to stimulate personal reflection. He noticed that through his actions, he was pleading to be with this girl doing way too much to be noticed and validated and this pushed her away. (Mind you it’s great to keep your partner happy in a relationship but if it’s looking like your pleading for them and can’t do anything without them then that’s getting a little too crazy). One of the most impacting statement he said on his blog was…

“People sometimes reject us because of the behavior we exhibit in our interactions with them. When people feel uncomfortable, they’re instinctively going to want to prevent themselves from experiencing annoyance or irritation. And their solution is to remove themselves from our presence. The result is that we end up feeling rejected by it… When we recognize these [unattractive behaviors] and work on them, we’re less likely to make others feel uncomfortable. This doesn’t guarantee other people won’t reject us, but it does decrease the odds that they’ll want to avoid us.”

But that’s why rejection isn’t personal. In this case, they’re not rejecting us; they’re rejecting our behavior. Usually people still care about you but just don’t know how to deal with the annoyance or simply don’t want to be irritated with the behavior anymore. Change your behavior but don’t feel defined by it! You just might experience more opportunities and associations that way.

(Incase you want more of him, here’s the link to Patram’s blog)

But! In cases where rejection may not be because of behavior (maybe it’s just not your time for it yet) you can definitely

 

2. View rejection as evidence that you’re capable of the impossible and push your limits

You don’t always get a no to a job that your obviously well qualified for. Things that are easy to achieve tend to mean that your not reaching beyond what your comfortable with. When you hand in your resume for a job position that you kinda second guess yourself with it means it’s a stretch for you and shows that you’re willing to aim for something higher than usual. This should be encouraging, as it states that you are confident and recognize values and potential skills you have to offer. Getting a no reply in these cases is hard to swallow but should really motivate you to keep pushing forward, stay positive and continue to apply for things that are higher than where you presently are now.

 

3. Have a WHY in your life and go forth with it

People sometimes feel a great sting from rejection because they measure that the amount of approval they get is directly correlated to their self esteem and self worth. Remember that the only approval that really matters in life is your own approval (And God who already approved you before the foundations of the earth were laid). Your main priority isn’t to fit into a group of people but to have others want to know and appreciate you because you fit into yourself. One of the most attractive qualities of an individual is their volition and drive to achieve their goals. If you have a why and you focus on making that why happen, you will find people who are genuinely interested in your dreams and may even want to further it with you! It is so exciting to have people in your life that your not pressured or pleading to belong to. If these people somehow end up exiting your life, you wont feel too bad because your sole purpose wasn’t about acceptance or admiration by them; it was to accomplish your mission, whatever that mission is. Bishop T.D. Jakes, another one of my spiritual fathers, puts it best in this video where he talks about how God uses rejection to push you into his purpose. It may be a little dry but its great food for thought when you get a moment and commit to listening to it.

 

Mom and I ❤

That’s it for this weeks blog! My week was a little more crowded for me. I’ve started working on modules for a project I am doing with my mom and am now taking some online writing courses just out of interest. Thank you so much for reading this week’s blog post. I hope you enjoyed it! Cash me in next week’s post where I’ll be discussing Redeeming your time and how you can make the most out of it in just a few steps. Lately I’ve been experimenting with wordpress’s blogging platform and I want to start adding podcasts to my blogs. I think it’s better for me to talk and have my blogs heard instead of just read, that way they can be listened to on the go or while doing other things. It also lets me have more expression and not have to worry about spelling mistakes and the fear of naturally switching to texting mode lol. Let me know in the comments section for next week if you prefer reading or listening. Feel free to comment your thoughts and follow if you haven’t done so already. Till next time have an awesome week!

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5 Essential Steps To Get Over A Breakup

Now, I wish I could title this post as 5 easy and quick ways to get over a break up, however there really aren’t that many standard rules or laws that can work perfectly for everyone. You’re not going to wake up the next morning after having your heart shredded by the person you cared so much about and walk away completely healed, not minding it at all. You may go through a phase of shock and disbelief and even denial, glancing at your cell and telling yourself ‘their still gonna text me, I know it.’ But the fact is, you cannot rely on someone else to give you happiness and make you feel loved. Hell no, that’s probably one of if not THE most tormenting places to be in. News flash! You cannot control another person’s life and force them to treat you the way you want them to treat you. But there’s good news, you can train yourself to love, cherish and treat your own darn self right! Here’s how you’re going to get over this person!

 

Step 1: Take time aside to be with yourself

Dragos Roua

Instead of trying to fill the void of emptiness with a new account on tinder, googling ways to attract your ex back to you or even desperately hooking up with toxic people from your past, first take a second to breathe. Just a second, inhale….exhale. Trust yourself enough to take control of your thoughts and emotions. One of the challenges with break ups is learning to be independent without having that person in your life any longer. You need to revisit yourself and remind you of your own significance and value. You accomplished a lot and made a lot of great things work out before you even met him/her and your qualities haven’t changed, they were never taken away from you.

– Spend a little time discovering more about your strengths and talents. I personally like to go on self-dates or nature walks, carry a little journal with me and write down my experiences in it. This is an investment that you will reap greatly later on.

– Do something spontaneous and fun (not reckless) and add that to your accomplishments. Whatever works best since this is practicing your ability to rediscover who you are.

– There are a lot of different clubs and community social groups you can reach out to for interest sake. Stay outdoors more than indoors and try to reduce social media to a minimum, trust! you will be grateful later.

– This video gives a great example of someone who tells her touching story of love and multiple divorces leading her to take time to love and marry herself first before meeting someone else.

 

Step 2: Don’t pity yourself, instead forgive then ask NOW WHAT?

Learning to be single again is a change you may not have been prepared for, but for most people, that’s not the most challenging part of a break up. The feeling of rejection and betrayal in most testimonies is what really delivers the blow. In some break ups people don’t get the closure they yearn for and that disappointment tends to linger on. Although it is absolutely human and ok to grieve after losing someone, you don’t want those memories and pain to remain the center of your day.

– One thing that I need you to do if you’re still thinking about this person is to learn to forgive them. The person who hurts the most when you do not forgive isn’t them, it’s you! Lewis B. Smedes states “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was really you.” Do yourself a favor, let go and live your life.

– Get back on your feet and ask yourself NOW WHAT? This statement is pity proof because it veers your mind to think up ways of moving on with your life. I actually like to apply this simple concept in every aspect of life because it moves the magnifying glass away from the issue and towards the possibilities I have to grow and be better off.

 

Step 3: Create a gratitude Journal

F.O.

Writing a journal is key in getting over a break up because it

– Shifts your focus to your blessings and privileges

– Reminds you of how much God loves you and strengthens your faith (faith comes by hearing or in this case, reading).

– Helps rebuild your self-esteem and helps you to identify who you really are.

– I don’t just settle with a journal. I personally have to combine it with some sort of uplifting Christian message.

I love my spiritual father Myles Munroe’s sermons because they are some of the the hottest sermons I listen to. They will leave you spiritually woke after listening to even just one of them. Here’s a message about singleness (start at 7:30) that changed my whole perspective on relationships.

This is a bonus video for ladies that I personally really enjoy too!

 

Step 4: Have a good support group

Steer clear of toxic people who bring their self-proclaiming, negative ideologies into your life. These are people that you know aren’t good for you but because of the pain, you now feel like you can turn to them since they give you some sort of negative and/or demeaning attention, which is better than no attention. Work with people in your life who truly want the best for you and desire to help you through this difficult time.

– The first person you need to encounter who really knows you is God. He is your author and he finished your story before you were even born! (like he’s that cool). He leads you in paths of righteousness and leads you by still waters (psalms 23). He promised to create plans to prosper you, give you hope and a future so you’re pretty much set for life if you can trust this promise and keep it moving.

– Next you want to meet with your confidant and let them know what’s up. This could be a parent, sibling or a very close friend who has passed the test of time and is there to really support you through hard times. Ensure it’s someone that knows you well, non-judgmental and caters to your needs as well as you cater to theirs.

 

Step 5: Give back

Goldberg and Rosen

Giving back helps you create significance outside yourself and helps provide you with purpose beyond just the things revolving around your little space.

– Help a stranger out with something or go volunteer at a camp or charity. Participate in things that bring value to others. This is one of the best ways to remind yourself that you do still matter because you’re creating meaning for other people, it gives you purpose. It feels great and hopefully you can continue to lend yourself to your community and maintain good relations with people there long after you heal from the pain of the break up.

I hope you enjoyed this post! Please feel free to comment and let me know of any suggestions you may have for future topics. Feel free to start a conversation below of your thoughts and if there is something else you feel I should have touched on. I appreciate you guys and having my posts read, even if this impacted just one person it makes all the difference. Thanks for visiting this week’s blog! Now’s the time to subscribe if you haven’t done so already to stay updated with new posts and comments. Next week I will be covering secrets to never feeling rejected again. See you over in my next blog post!

To the Internet Village, I say hi!

Napoleon Hill was wrong! One cannot simply think and grow rich, you have to act on it too! If you wanna be rich, or do anything worthwhile for that matter, then go for it wholeheartedly and get it done. That being said I am so excited to bring to you My FIRST post for my FIRST blog. I am a 3rd year nursing student, entrepreneur, investor, aspiring singer, aspiring motivational speaker and leader in Christianity and aspiring author. If your wondering about all of the aspiring’s well relax a little bit, a girl can dream right? I also taught myself to play some songs on the keyboard (yeah just thought i’d throw that in there cause presently i’m not seeing a place where I plan to say it in my future posts so… yeah).

I plan to be my most authentic self and bring to you some of my own experiences, wisdom and knowledge. I learned at a very young age that life isn’t always fair and sometimes it can throw at us some painful realities that really crap up our day. This being said, my vision is to post uplifting, meaningful and interesting sources of information/stories with a touch of humor here and there in the effort to place a smile over someone’s face.

In life, we dip our finger into an ocean of ideas, skills and lessons, all of which may one day be thrown at us before we’re ready. We must equip ourselves to be prepared for all of life’s lessons and moldings. I titled this blog after what I value and believe in which is lifelong learning, growing and prospering. I want that to be the theme that’s carried through every post I make and hey, I know that we can get through life’s hurdles if we work as a team.

Have you ever had a rough break up? Or felt you weren’t in control of your time? With this blog I will highlight ways to conquer the emotions of a bad break up; Skills in mastering test taking and the stresses of school; How to keep positive mind during difficult situations; Secrets to never feeling rejected again and redeeming your time so you can make the most out of your life in just a few steps. Ill touch on other exciting material as well and even ask you for some recommendations for topics. I’ll be running all of this by you from the perspective of a millennial; I believe there’s a need for this in today’s day and age.

I want to hear your opinions too so commenting on posts that touch, resonate with you or teach you something worthwhile is encouraged, but no profanity thank you. It’s such a blessing and privilege to have started and I will be posting new things every Wednesday. If you would like to receive updates for new content, feel free to enter your email on the right. Ill try and answer all questions in due time. My first topic for next week will be on fundamental steps to help you get over a really tough break up! With all being said, I can’t wait to see you over in my next blog post!