I chose this topic because I think we can agree that you have been rejected in one way or another at some point in your life. We all have. Rejection sucks and in many cases it is inevitable, even when you have given your all just to succeed. I want to encourage you to foster a mindset that can lead you to think and manifest ‘reject proof’ thoughts and behaviors. This will help you be more confident and successful in life, from applying for your dream job to not feeling hurt when someone doesn’t give you the inclusion or acceptance you long for. Rejection is a fight you face in your mind and can either leave you feeling hopeless or stronger, depending on how you process it. Strong people use rejection to catapult them into worlds unknown whilst others refuse to grow when adversity hits. If you want to be strong in the face of rejection then listen up, here are 3 ways to never feel rejected again.
1. You use rejection as an opportunity to grow and not be defined!
First off I wanted to insert this blog post by Keenan Patram who told his story of being rejected by a girl he really liked. Their relationship started well but then she slowly began avoiding him. As time passed and frustration grew, he soon realized that the issue was in focusing too much on why she should like him, not why she didn’t. When he changed his mind from being problem based to now thinking for a solution, he noticed more ways that he could improve himself. He used that strong feeling of rejection to stimulate personal reflection. He noticed that through his actions, he was pleading to be with this girl doing way too much to be noticed and validated and this pushed her away. (Mind you it’s great to keep your partner happy in a relationship but if it’s looking like your pleading for them and can’t do anything without them then that’s getting a little too crazy). One of the most impacting statement he said on his blog was…
“People sometimes reject us because of the behavior we exhibit in our interactions with them. When people feel uncomfortable, they’re instinctively going to want to prevent themselves from experiencing annoyance or irritation. And their solution is to remove themselves from our presence. The result is that we end up feeling rejected by it… When we recognize these [unattractive behaviors] and work on them, we’re less likely to make others feel uncomfortable. This doesn’t guarantee other people won’t reject us, but it does decrease the odds that they’ll want to avoid us.”
But that’s why rejection isn’t personal. In this case, they’re not rejecting us; they’re rejecting our behavior. Usually people still care about you but just don’t know how to deal with the annoyance or simply don’t want to be irritated with the behavior anymore. Change your behavior but don’t feel defined by it! You just might experience more opportunities and associations that way.
(Incase you want more of him, here’s the link to Patram’s blog)
But! In cases where rejection may not be because of behavior (maybe it’s just not your time for it yet) you can definitely
2. View rejection as evidence that you’re capable of the impossible and push your limits
You don’t always get a no to a job that your obviously well qualified for. Things that are easy to achieve tend to mean that your not reaching beyond what your comfortable with. When you hand in your resume for a job position that you kinda second guess yourself with it means it’s a stretch for you and shows that you’re willing to aim for something higher than usual. This should be encouraging, as it states that you are confident and recognize values and potential skills you have to offer. Getting a no reply in these cases is hard to swallow but should really motivate you to keep pushing forward, stay positive and continue to apply for things that are higher than where you presently are now.
3. Have a WHY in your life and go forth with it
People sometimes feel a great sting from rejection because they measure that the amount of approval they get is directly correlated to their self esteem and self worth. Remember that the only approval that really matters in life is your own approval (And God who already approved you before the foundations of the earth were laid). Your main priority isn’t to fit into a group of people but to have others want to know and appreciate you because you fit into yourself. One of the most attractive qualities of an individual is their volition and drive to achieve their goals. If you have a why and you focus on making that why happen, you will find people who are genuinely interested in your dreams and may even want to further it with you! It is so exciting to have people in your life that your not pressured or pleading to belong to. If these people somehow end up exiting your life, you wont feel too bad because your sole purpose wasn’t about acceptance or admiration by them; it was to accomplish your mission, whatever that mission is. Bishop T.D. Jakes, another one of my spiritual fathers, puts it best in this video where he talks about how God uses rejection to push you into his purpose. It may be a little dry but its great food for thought when you get a moment and commit to listening to it.
That’s it for this weeks blog! My week was a little more crowded for me. I’ve started working on modules for a project I am doing with my mom and am now taking some online writing courses just out of interest. Thank you so much for reading this week’s blog post. I hope you enjoyed it! Cash me in next week’s post where I’ll be discussing Redeeming your time and how you can make the most out of it in just a few steps. Lately I’ve been experimenting with wordpress’s blogging platform and I want to start adding podcasts to my blogs. I think it’s better for me to talk and have my blogs heard instead of just read, that way they can be listened to on the go or while doing other things. It also lets me have more expression and not have to worry about spelling mistakes and the fear of naturally switching to texting mode lol. Let me know in the comments section for next week if you prefer reading or listening. Feel free to comment your thoughts and follow if you haven’t done so already. Till next time have an awesome week!